| I will take this to heart... and let other things go By "Gracie" |
I was at the library the other day. I was in the mood to read something
but I just didn't know what I was in the mood for, when I happened upon
a book that I wasn't sure I would like but now am glad I pulled it from
the shelf and wandered up to the librarian with it and checked it out. I
am about half way through this book now and tonight while soaking in a
hot tub and relaxing a bit after a long day I happened upon a couple of
pages that felt like they were there for me. Has anything ever just
happened at the right time for you, from nowhere you receive a message
you have really needed to receive? Some people call it a message from
God, some call it a "sign", others call it coincidental. Whatever it is, well,
it happened to me tonight.
When I was invited to join this blog I didn't really know what my role
would be or even what purpose writing about things would serve. I am a
person who tends to write from the heart. I live my life in the same way,
from the heart. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone reading this,
but I guess to explain that would mean that to live my life from the heart
means I try to be kind to everyone. As tough as life is on me sometimes
(as it is for everyone) I try to always care about other's feelings and
respect their opinions whether they are different from mine or not. This
is a good way to live your life or I have always thought so anyways, but
perhaps it is true that too much of anything is not good. Perhaps there
have been times when I have cared too much for another's feelings or
opinions and while doing that I am not taking caring for my own, looking
out for myself, and even perhaps leaving myself vulnerable to someone
who really doesn't care, and we all know from our own personal
experiences there are plenty of people out there that well, sadly don't
really give a damn. But tonight something clicked for me while reading
this and for anyone out there who has ever felt like I have about this
particular blog topic, maybe these words will help you too.
The author is Robin McGraw and the title of the book is, "Inside My
Heart". I have taken excerpts from her book and on particular things in
pages 112 through 114. You can't control other people. You cannot control
what they say, what they think, or what they do. But you have the right
not to take it to heart, and not to react. When you allow a person's words
to upset you, you're giving away your power. You are giving someone else
the power to control how you feel and how you think. You need to say,
"You have the right to say it and you have the right to think it. But I have
the right to not react; I have the right to continue to believe what I know
is true."" And from that day forward, I have always known that what
other people think of me or say about me ought not to influence what I
know to be true about myself. To doubt myself because of others would
be to hand over my power to them, and that is something I will not do. I
never give my power away. That's exactly what you do when you allow
someone else's opinion of you to affect your opinion of yourself; you're
giving away your power. And I say, don't do it. It doesn't matter how
convinced of your flaws your detractors may be; if you allow other people
to erode your good opinion of yourself, you're giving them power over
you. ..... what I failed to see at the time was that the judgment was more
about that person than it was about me. Some combination of irrational
thoughts, distorted perceptions, and unknowable events in that person's
life motivated those behaviors. I could not control this person, but I
could control myself. (end of quotation from book, got to give an author
credit where due).
Now mind you, I'm in the tub, by now getting pretty wrinkly, but what a
great reminder and definitely an eye opener. Indeed I had a revelation
about how I was actually hurting myself lately by trying to be too nice all
of the time and then tormenting myself over why it is some people don't
like me. I come across straightforward and opinionated sometimes about
issues personal and political, which kind of happen to intertwine at the
moment but this will not be so forever. The dust will soon settle and
whatever the outcome I cannot go wrong for I truly believe with all my
heart what a good, decent person I am. I will no longer allow others who
try to diminish the good in me with their hateful behavior in order to get
me to react in a manner similar to theirs, for I am not hateful or cruel
and I will no longer react. Wow, what a bubble bath!! Take care and thank
you for reading.
but I just didn't know what I was in the mood for, when I happened upon
a book that I wasn't sure I would like but now am glad I pulled it from
the shelf and wandered up to the librarian with it and checked it out. I
am about half way through this book now and tonight while soaking in a
hot tub and relaxing a bit after a long day I happened upon a couple of
pages that felt like they were there for me. Has anything ever just
happened at the right time for you, from nowhere you receive a message
you have really needed to receive? Some people call it a message from
God, some call it a "sign", others call it coincidental. Whatever it is, well,
it happened to me tonight.
When I was invited to join this blog I didn't really know what my role
would be or even what purpose writing about things would serve. I am a
person who tends to write from the heart. I live my life in the same way,
from the heart. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone reading this,
but I guess to explain that would mean that to live my life from the heart
means I try to be kind to everyone. As tough as life is on me sometimes
(as it is for everyone) I try to always care about other's feelings and
respect their opinions whether they are different from mine or not. This
is a good way to live your life or I have always thought so anyways, but
perhaps it is true that too much of anything is not good. Perhaps there
have been times when I have cared too much for another's feelings or
opinions and while doing that I am not taking caring for my own, looking
out for myself, and even perhaps leaving myself vulnerable to someone
who really doesn't care, and we all know from our own personal
experiences there are plenty of people out there that well, sadly don't
really give a damn. But tonight something clicked for me while reading
this and for anyone out there who has ever felt like I have about this
particular blog topic, maybe these words will help you too.
The author is Robin McGraw and the title of the book is, "Inside My
Heart". I have taken excerpts from her book and on particular things in
pages 112 through 114. You can't control other people. You cannot control
what they say, what they think, or what they do. But you have the right
not to take it to heart, and not to react. When you allow a person's words
to upset you, you're giving away your power. You are giving someone else
the power to control how you feel and how you think. You need to say,
"You have the right to say it and you have the right to think it. But I have
the right to not react; I have the right to continue to believe what I know
is true."" And from that day forward, I have always known that what
other people think of me or say about me ought not to influence what I
know to be true about myself. To doubt myself because of others would
be to hand over my power to them, and that is something I will not do. I
never give my power away. That's exactly what you do when you allow
someone else's opinion of you to affect your opinion of yourself; you're
giving away your power. And I say, don't do it. It doesn't matter how
convinced of your flaws your detractors may be; if you allow other people
to erode your good opinion of yourself, you're giving them power over
you. ..... what I failed to see at the time was that the judgment was more
about that person than it was about me. Some combination of irrational
thoughts, distorted perceptions, and unknowable events in that person's
life motivated those behaviors. I could not control this person, but I
could control myself. (end of quotation from book, got to give an author
credit where due).
Now mind you, I'm in the tub, by now getting pretty wrinkly, but what a
great reminder and definitely an eye opener. Indeed I had a revelation
about how I was actually hurting myself lately by trying to be too nice all
of the time and then tormenting myself over why it is some people don't
like me. I come across straightforward and opinionated sometimes about
issues personal and political, which kind of happen to intertwine at the
moment but this will not be so forever. The dust will soon settle and
whatever the outcome I cannot go wrong for I truly believe with all my
heart what a good, decent person I am. I will no longer allow others who
try to diminish the good in me with their hateful behavior in order to get
me to react in a manner similar to theirs, for I am not hateful or cruel
and I will no longer react. Wow, what a bubble bath!! Take care and thank
you for reading.
| Gracie's |
| Gripes, Griefs, and Gratitude |
 | |  | |  | |  |
